Dating Needs Real-Life Social Networks
The Surprising Traditionalism of 'Are We Dating the Same Guy' Groups
This week, Abigail Wise takes on the ever-lessening benefits of dating apps, the rise of “Are We Dating the Same Guy” Facebook groups, and why we shouldn’t be ok with the modern dating scene.
Dating Needs Real-Life Social Networks
Abigail Wise
In this brave new world of dating, some things have not changed. That includes the prevalence of gender-based violence. Women must still be on guard, constantly factoring in the possibility that they could be harmed by any man they encounter. Without shared social circles, women have to quickly assess for themselves the character of the men they meet.
Enter “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups. Dubbed “the Yelp of dating,” “AWDtSG” groups have sprung up in major urban areas over the past few years. Their mission is to help single women “sort the princes from the frogs before you even get to the kissing stage.” “Are We Dating the Same Guy” is the twenty-first-century version of the classic “whisper network” women have used to warn each other about dangerous or otherwise bad men for centuries. There has been much debate on whether AWDtSG groups actually help women, and if they are fair to men.
However, while high-profile think-pieces abound, none seem to be asking the underlying question: “Why are we ok with dating being like this?”
This Week: Egg Freezing, the Trans Conveyor Belt, and Wollstonecraft's Reason
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From the Archives:
Elizabeth Grace Matthew on why we shouldn’t consider weak character a crisis of “masculinity.”
Fragility, Not Feminization, Is What’s Ailing America’s Men
If we blame the personal and psychological fragility that has become a norm among too many men on a decline in “masculinity” (rather than on the failure of too many men to embrace responsible adulthood), we risk implying that such fragility is somehow constitutive of womanhood.
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