Prosecute the Men Who Pay for Sex, Not the Women Who Sell It
What the Nordic Model Gets Right
This week, author, activist, and psychotherapist Mia Döring writes in defense of the Nordic Model. The Nordic Model of legislation criminalizes the act of buying sex, but not the act of selling it—and Döring argues that it is the “best way to combat prostitution.”
Prosecute the Men Who Pay for Sex, Not the Women Who Sell It
Mia Döring
Prostitution is repeated rape, and the mind has to do gymnastics to make that experience tolerable. I know this because I did it, and I suffer the consequences every single day. I was willingly raped for four years.
We see an acknowledgment of the deficiency of the standard “thin” sexual consent standard in the movement of many rape groups to define consent more richly: enthusiastic, reversible, freely given, informed. None of these words accurately describe a women’s consent to sex in prostitution. Unless your kink happens to be getting paid by unknown, unattractive, narcissistic, middle-aged men, your consent is not enthusiastic. It’s also not, practically speaking, reversible, because you have been paid to have sex. That’s your job. If you try to take back your consent, the man could force you anyway, or take his money back, or hit you. In the “sex work is work” framework, this would be like me going to my therapist office and informing my client that I’m not in the mood but I’m expecting payment anyway. It’s very hard to say no when you've literally been paid to say yes.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what language we come up with or cognitive games we play. Mutuality is essential in any sexual encounter, and mutuality cannot be bought.
This Week in Sex-Realist Feminism: Divorce Memoirs, Progress, and the Pill
This week: Sarah Menkedick on divorce memoirs, Mary Harrington on progress and mothering, Christine Emba on women and the Pill, the long-term risks of youth gender transition, social construction, the breakup industry, what Featured Author Holly Lawford-Smith is reading—and more!
From the Archives:
Liz Miller, who has worked in the anti-trafficking movement for years, on the lies that trafficking is based on and their deep roots in our culture.
We’re All Being Groomed
Liz Miller
“To fight sex trafficking, we must reject all commoditization of the female body. We must teach women that saying ‘no’ to objectification will be expected and supported.”