The Solution to the “Emotional Labor” Problem

Putting down burdens and gaining self-respect

This week, Emily Starr Kwilinski questions the premises behind the “emotional labor” theory that suggests women are the ones responsible for all emotional tasks in a relationship.

The Solution to the “Emotional Labor” Problem

Emily Starr Kwilinski

The underlying premise is that men cannot be trusted to manage their own emotions. This is a strangely common assumption. From Reddit to Psychology Today, it’s often taken as a given that men fail to healthily process their emotions—and that women must pick up the slack.

This is not the only option. There is, in my view, a better way. Rather than accepting unhealthy relationship patterns, women can choose to let go of culturally conditioned distrust. We can put down emotional burdens that aren’t ours to carry, stepping forward into the kind of self-respect that allows men and women to relate to one another more freely.

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This Week in Sex-Realist Feminism: Maternity Deserts, Fatherhood, and Why Women are on OnlyFans

This week: Edwin Leap on the growing maternity deserts and why emergency rooms aren't equipped to fill the void, Jim Dalrymple II on how fatherhood can be a solution for men looking for purpose, and Louise Perry on what draws women to creating content for OnlyFans. Plus: Simone's bile, Santa Clara's warped idea of human sexuality, thinking about The Protocol—and more!

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From the Archive:

ICYMI: Film Critic Joseph Holmes asks why so many films treat women becoming mothers as fodder for horror.

Why Is Hollywood Scared of Moms?

Joseph Holmes

“We should also recognize the inherent misogyny of pathologizing the unique way women bond with their children. When movies like Immaculate, Rosemary’s Baby, and The First Omen portray the natural attachment that women have to their children as a weakness that must be overcome (ideally by killing the child), they are deriding one of the biggest innate differences between women and men.”